What is reflection?
Reflection means to process our thoughts and feelings; it is useful in stressful or upsetting situations. It allows us to look at things in different ways and to understand why we may be thinking a certain way, it can promote understanding for us, making things easier to accept and understand.
Reflecting on things allows us to explore areas of weakness and strengths we may have. Sometimes when we are telling someone something we end up telling them everything, this pulls us away from reflecting and leans more to us describing a situation.
One of the good things about reflecting is it helps us to do things differently going forward, it may prevent us from making the same mistakes again or it can remind us of the details of special events which help us to create important memories.
Aspects of the reflective process include.
Standing Back/Honesty/Clarity/Understanding/Making Judgements/weighing up/making sense of things
We can organise our reflection in to 3 parts.
- We identify the situation/event that we wish to reflect on
- We study it carefully, carry out an analysis in your mind of what happened/what was said etc
- We then review our findings and work out how we will change things going forward.We may also accept a new understanding/different perspective of the situation.
Ruminating is another word for reflection; however, this type of reflection is not always helpful, we may sit and ruminate over a painful event, which can create a sense of us re-living it again. This type of reflection can often seem intrusive, and thoughts are often negative. Persistent rumination can impact on people’s mental health.
Ruminating thoughts are often triggered by PTSD, traumatic events, relationship breakdowns, phobias, medical results, generalised anxiety disorders.
Reflecting on our lives will help us to look at things that we might want to change, how we see ourselves, how we want others to see us, what we want going forward and what we do not want in our lives anymore.
Hopefully, this website will provide you with ideas and inspiration on things you might like to try. It is important that you reflect on your life to date in a positive way. Regret will only prevent you from being happy.
- Think back to being at school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Ask yourself, why did you want to be this, what were your earliest memories of this career?Why did it capture your interest?
- Think about why your career took a different route? Did something stop you from pursuing your initial career? What got in the way? Was it out of your control?
- Did you ever try and pursue it later in life? If not, why? What prevented you from doing so?
- When did life’s routines start to impact on you? Were you in control of this? Did you believe it was what was expected of you?
- How long can you honestly say you have been looking back and saying I wish I had done this or that?
Hopefully this small exercise will of help you to determine what it is that will help you to Just B U.
One Summer's day as I sat relaxing in the garden I thought of myself and my best friend and imagined our lives as we would approach old age, a greater contrast would be hard to imagine for anyone, My friend a constant martyr to worry and stress and other medical symptoms that shall go unmentioned but a calm and steady person, and myself the worrying sort, irritable at anyone who tries to offer sympathy for conditions and dispositions that are not a disability but simply a challenge and who lives at one hundred miles an hour. Although I have been told many times that our body parts are mutually dependent, it is only now after many years that I understand that if one part is not functioning properly other parts will suffer. I remember being told by a kind doctor many years ago, “exercise is a safeguard of good health, a change of exercise is what you need, he ignored my list of routine housework chores, stating that is not enough to bring all the muscles of the body into play. You must go outside, outside exercise has a soothing effect on nervous tension and irritability. This is absolutely true! and so another part of our journey begins.
I want to help you first to gain reassurance in your own recovery, so that you can build enough strength to continue this journey. If you are reading this website in a hope that you may find some sanctuary, then you have come to the right place. You may feel the urge to jump to some of the answers contained in this page, but I urge you to read it all and take time to do so. I am sure you will find this information interesting, and helpful, as you will see some of yourself in the words and situations I describe. Although many of you may be disappointed that a routine visit to the GP has still not provided you with a diagnosis, or a prescribed medication for your condition, do not lose heart, for the answer is simple, acceptance, and allowing time to pass is the answer, do not be discouraged by failure to cure oneself, or find the answer.
No matter how anxious or exhausted or overwhelmed, life carries us forward and we recover finding happiness. An exhausted tired brain can be overly sensitive to noise and can cause you more anxiety and tension throughout your body. One way to relax the anxious mind, is to lie still and focus your mind on the noises around you, as you do so other thoughts/emotions will come in, allow them to pass without giving them any attention. Eventually you will feel the tension leaving your body, and with that will come a feeling of recovery. Do not lie in your bed at night, trying to work things out, do not think of the problems you have, as this to will cause your mind and body to become over sensitized, which will prevent sleep from taking place.
Think of life in a simple way, food, shelter and emotional wellbeing is all that is needed to sustain life and allow a person to live. You have so much more than that, however some of what you have will contribute to the nervous mind and body that you have today.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that if we fight our fraught nerves and exhaustion, we will eventually come through. Desperately trying to force ourselves to relax and becoming frustrated when it doesn’t happen. We then cause ourselves more tension, which makes us feel worse, our symptoms increase, and we become more tense.
If we sat quietly in a room focusing on our breathing and allowing our body to relax, our symptoms would decrease, however as mentioned at the beginning, acceptance is the answer, only when we truly accept and let time go by will we recover.
The next time you feel anxious or tension building, give it no attention, continue to read a book, or finish the task in hand. Only then will you stop the release of adrenaline, and then your recovery journey can begin.
Confidence is gained when we accept and continue despite temporary defeat.